When Will We Get A New Slot Classic?

Slot machineAh, greetings, old chaps! ‘Tis I, sir Oscar Gough, back again with my gentlemanly slot-related musings and ponderings. Last month, I was personally invited by the Queen to celebrate princess the lovely Princess Beatrice’s 28th birthday, and dare I say, it was a lovely celebration! I don’t typically take time off of my slot hunting activities, and if I am to be quite frank, the sole reason why I went were because Elizabeth used to be a sweetheart of mine back in the 1930s, before she met that oaf Phillip. Ah, it feels like it was only yesterday when I, a mere professor’s boy with nary a noble blood cell in my veins, would sneak through the window of Buckingham Palace for some afternoon tea and crumpets with my darling… But I digress! I do have to, however, rather gentlemanly admit that the ceremony pleasantly surprised me, with a very intriguing selection of wines to accompany the gratuitous amounts of food that covered the tables in the main hall. “Ah, a 1926 Chardonnay! A classic! We’ll never get a year like that again,” the oaf Philip sighed melancholically as he absentmindedly poured himself a glass. Of course, I immediately considered interjecting and explaining that wine doesn’t taste all that different regardless of its brand, year or grape variety, but alas, my thoughts were preoccupied by something else. And what, pray tell, could possibly occupy the mind of a gentleman slot hunter? Why, slots, of course!

“A classic! We’ll never see one like that again!” It’s a phrase I’ve often heard tossed around like an unwanted child during a divorce, especially when classic slots are concerned. We know them as “The Avengers”, “South Park”, “Mega Moolah”, “Aliens”, “Gladiator Jackpot” and many more, the slots that every self-respecting slot hunter begins their journey with. The classics are undoubtedly the best that the slot industry has to offer, which is why almost every online casino savannah proudly presents them right on their very new front page. However, there is but one teeny-tiny problem with all of those slots – they’re older than tea! Most slots that are popular today came out quite a few years ago, and while new ones keep getting made, none of them seem to be able to reach quite the same level as the old classics. But why is that? Is it because we reached the high point of slot machines years ago and now are as unable to make something better as Americans are to choose a decent President? After all, we do see a lot of slots being released all the time, but usually those releases go rather quietly and under the radar. Is it really as simple as a matter of quality? Fear not, good sir, for the answer is that much simpler – it’s but a matter of marketing.

While the art of slot hunting is a refined one, sadly not many fine folks practice it. Most prefer to stick to one slot that they like and only move on to something different if they get sick of what they were already playing. Furthermore, most people don’t like to spend too long selecting their slot – they prefer to have a few options available to them. In theory, having a wide selection is great, but in practice, us humans are flawed creatures and prefer to be rather limited. Let’s take, for example, the infamous jam study from 2000. One day, researchers set up a table at a supermarket allowing customers to sample 24 varieties of jams. On another day, they only presented 6 types of jams. While the bigger selection certainly attracted a larger crowd, it was ultimately the people who sampled the fewer jams that ended up buying more. Online casino savannahs work in the same principle – most online slots are merely there to attract attention. A savannah boasting 300 slots ripe for hunting is way more enticing than one that only has 80. However, once the slot hunter has signed on, their attention is directed towards a very limited selection of hand-picked slots in order to make sure they’re not overwhelmed. There’s nothing stopping them from browsing around and hunting for more elusive prey, but most places would REALLY like you to sample their six jams first before going after the 24.

But which slots are selected to be showcased? That’s where marketing comes in. Have you noticed that the most famous slots are all based on big, famous movies? “The Avengers”, “Aliens”, “Game of Thrones”, “Gladiator”, “The Dark Knight”, “South Park”… The overwhelming majority of these slots are based on popular movies and TV shows, and by “popular” I mean “even the Queen has heard of them, and she doesn’t even have Internet access” level of popular. With them, the level of brand popularity is far more important than the quality of the slot… And don’t get me wrong, they’re all brilliant slots, but they’re not the only great slots out there. Just the ones with the most recognizable names. So, to answer the question posed by my own subconscious, shall we ever see another “classic” slot? Why yes, undoubtedly we shall… The moment NetEnt obtains the rights to a movie that made over a billion dollars, that is.

THE BEST ONLINE SLOTS WITH ANIMALS

Ah, welcome, old chum! I was just having my afternoon tea and crumpets! A good gentleman slot hunter such as myself, Sir Oscar Gough, must never pursue his prey without a fresh cup of tea in his tummy, even when in the comfort of his own home! After all, slot hunting is a dangerous hobby even without the risk of dehydration! Take, for example, this tale from my latest safari – while hunting for the rarest animal-themed slots, as I often do, I crossed ways with my dear mates from bestonlineslots.co.uk , who are usually absolutely brilliant slot hunters that I hold much respect for. But alas, they were in mortal peril! While they were distracted watching a football game, all of the animal slots they had captured had found a way to break out of their cages and were on the loose! “Blimey!”, I cursed under breath as I adjusted my monocle. What was there to be done? Only one thing, dear chap – I, sir Oscar, set out to capture each of the escaping slots, under the condition that I would be allowed to add them to my own prized collection. You doubt my tale, old chum? Well, why don’t you follow me into the trophy room and see for yourself?

WHITE KING

A screenshot from the game White King

Ah, the mythical white lion! Truly one of the rarest animals to have ever walked the online savannah, and a gem in every hunter’s collection! As you can see, this 5 reels slot has 40 paylines and looks absolutely gorgeous, with hand-painted pictures of an entire white lion serving as its symbols. It also moves very smoothly, with enough frames per second to make even physical slots rather jealous! I should know, as I quite often listen in on their conversations! The only negative thing I could say about this otherwise lovely slot is that the bonus game rolls around a little too rarely. I spent many nights crouched in the bushes waiting for it to show up, and when it did the experience was quite underwhelming, as there isn’t an actual “game” – you merely get five free spins, which in the grand scheme of things don’t exactly bring you too much earnings – I won two or three times as much on certain Wild combinations, and those happened a lot more frequently than the bonus game did. Still, that is one rather small negative point for what is otherwise a quite excellent slot!

GREAT BLUE

A screenshot from the game Great Blue

I believe each one of us, be it ladies, gentlemen or others, can agree that the ocean is a very beautiful thing, comparable only to a well-trimmed mustache or the 1966 FIFA World Cup. Sadly, the creators of “Great Blue” seem to have missed the memo, because this is one of the worse looking slots in my prized collection. Not the worst, mind you, as I have witnessed some very poor excuses for visuals, but the images appear to have been drawn by a moderately talented sixth grader. Poor graphics aside, though, “Great Blue” is a five reel slot with only 25 paylines. Not all is bad, though, as I find its bonus game to actually be rather intriguing. Once you activate it by having three scatter symbols on the screen, as usual, you will be presented with five closed clamps. Under some of them are multipliers, and under others – free spins, but you never know which is which and what the actual numbers are. You are given 8 free spins and a 2x multiplier for starters and need to increase those numbers by selecting two clamps and adding their spins or multipliers to the ones you already have. While in my experience the slot rewarded me with some rather long cold streaks, the bonus game happens relatively frequently, so it’s a tad of a mixed bag.

CASHAPILLAR

A screenshot from the game Cashapillar

If you were looking for a good slot to leave the little sprogs in front of as you go have a pint, you might consider “Cashapillar” to be a worthy choice. After all, it’s remarkably easy for one to consider the cute and adorable bugs adorning the symbol slots as an indication that the slot was intended for a younger audience. After all, we all know that the 18+ sign on every online casino is more of a suggestion than an actual rule, so why not let the little ones have their fun? Bad idea, my good sir, bad idea indeed! First of all, “Cashapillar” has not 25, not 40 but a grand total of 100 paylines available to you (with 5 rows and 5 columns), and just like other slots of its kind it can get quite overbearing. Naturally, the chance to win is greater with more paylines, but so is the cost of every spin, and if you intend to pull the lever hundreds of times before the end of your session those paylines may burn a hole in your pocket! To make up for it, “Cashapillar” offers a pretty large jackpot and a bonus that can award you with free spins, so ultimately it’s up to you, dear chap, to decide whether you want to take the higher risk for the higher reward. On a side note, my comment about the 18+ signs being optional was nothing more than dry British sarcasm. Don’t let your sprogs play casino games, ladies and gentlemen!