When Will We Get A New Slot Classic?

Slot machineAh, greetings, old chaps! ‘Tis I, sir Oscar Gough, back again with my gentlemanly slot-related musings and ponderings. Last month, I was personally invited by the Queen to celebrate princess the lovely Princess Beatrice’s 28th birthday, and dare I say, it was a lovely celebration! I don’t typically take time off of my slot hunting activities, and if I am to be quite frank, the sole reason why I went were because Elizabeth used to be a sweetheart of mine back in the 1930s, before she met that oaf Phillip. Ah, it feels like it was only yesterday when I, a mere professor’s boy with nary a noble blood cell in my veins, would sneak through the window of Buckingham Palace for some afternoon tea and crumpets with my darling… But I digress! I do have to, however, rather gentlemanly admit that the ceremony pleasantly surprised me, with a very intriguing selection of wines to accompany the gratuitous amounts of food that covered the tables in the main hall. “Ah, a 1926 Chardonnay! A classic! We’ll never get a year like that again,” the oaf Philip sighed melancholically as he absentmindedly poured himself a glass. Of course, I immediately considered interjecting and explaining that wine doesn’t taste all that different regardless of its brand, year or grape variety, but alas, my thoughts were preoccupied by something else. And what, pray tell, could possibly occupy the mind of a gentleman slot hunter? Why, slots, of course!

“A classic! We’ll never see one like that again!” It’s a phrase I’ve often heard tossed around like an unwanted child during a divorce, especially when classic slots are concerned. We know them as “The Avengers”, “South Park”, “Mega Moolah”, “Aliens”, “Gladiator Jackpot” and many more, the slots that every self-respecting slot hunter begins their journey with. The classics are undoubtedly the best that the slot industry has to offer, which is why almost every online casino savannah proudly presents them right on their very new front page. However, there is but one teeny-tiny problem with all of those slots – they’re older than tea! Most slots that are popular today came out quite a few years ago, and while new ones keep getting made, none of them seem to be able to reach quite the same level as the old classics. But why is that? Is it because we reached the high point of slot machines years ago and now are as unable to make something better as Americans are to choose a decent President? After all, we do see a lot of slots being released all the time, but usually those releases go rather quietly and under the radar. Is it really as simple as a matter of quality? Fear not, good sir, for the answer is that much simpler – it’s but a matter of marketing.

While the art of slot hunting is a refined one, sadly not many fine folks practice it. Most prefer to stick to one slot that they like and only move on to something different if they get sick of what they were already playing. Furthermore, most people don’t like to spend too long selecting their slot – they prefer to have a few options available to them. In theory, having a wide selection is great, but in practice, us humans are flawed creatures and prefer to be rather limited. Let’s take, for example, the infamous jam study from 2000. One day, researchers set up a table at a supermarket allowing customers to sample 24 varieties of jams. On another day, they only presented 6 types of jams. While the bigger selection certainly attracted a larger crowd, it was ultimately the people who sampled the fewer jams that ended up buying more. Online casino savannahs work in the same principle – most online slots are merely there to attract attention. A savannah boasting 300 slots ripe for hunting is way more enticing than one that only has 80. However, once the slot hunter has signed on, their attention is directed towards a very limited selection of hand-picked slots in order to make sure they’re not overwhelmed. There’s nothing stopping them from browsing around and hunting for more elusive prey, but most places would REALLY like you to sample their six jams first before going after the 24.

But which slots are selected to be showcased? That’s where marketing comes in. Have you noticed that the most famous slots are all based on big, famous movies? “The Avengers”, “Aliens”, “Game of Thrones”, “Gladiator”, “The Dark Knight”, “South Park”… The overwhelming majority of these slots are based on popular movies and TV shows, and by “popular” I mean “even the Queen has heard of them, and she doesn’t even have Internet access” level of popular. With them, the level of brand popularity is far more important than the quality of the slot… And don’t get me wrong, they’re all brilliant slots, but they’re not the only great slots out there. Just the ones with the most recognizable names. So, to answer the question posed by my own subconscious, shall we ever see another “classic” slot? Why yes, undoubtedly we shall… The moment NetEnt obtains the rights to a movie that made over a billion dollars, that is.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Online Blackjack

Guide to Online BlackjackGreetings, my fellow slot hunters! It is I once more, yours truly, sir Oscar Gough with another article meant to assist you, fine gentlemen, in your hunt! Jolly, this truly sounds like an awful infomercial, doesn’t it? My most sincerest, apologies, folks, allow me to go back to my point. Many of you are already rather skilled in the most fine art of slot hunting – I have received more than one electronic letter from you detailing your adventures in the dangerous steppes of the online slots. But what many of you expressed concerns about is that slot hunting, while a most spectacular activity within its own right, is but one of the many, many different ways one can spend the time in the online casino jungle. Of course, as a proper gentleman, it is only right for me to have knowledge of other forms of gambling, such as roulette or blackjack. So allow me to share a few small tips with you that could enhance your hunting experience.

1. A Gentleman Is Well Educated

Hunting slots requires little preparation, admittedly – once you know where to locate the slot that you wish to pursue, the rest of the hunt goes very smoothly. That is not true when it comes to blackjack! Blackjack is all about being well educated and learning how to play the game! A true gentleman takes all the knowledge he can get his hands on. You can usually find a lot of information through books (a simple search for “blackjack” on Amazon and a scroll through the highest rated titles should suffice), but there is also a lot of useful information online as well.

2. A Gentleman Plays Live Blackjack

Online blackjack, while certainly possessing not a miniscule amount of appeal to itself, still may get a tad dry after numerous games. I, for example, get bored rather easily after a dozen or so games. Us true British lads require constant entertainment in order to remain amused, and since online blackjack does not change much, it is rarely able to hold my attention for very long. That is why live blackjack is such a fantastic idea – the presence of a variable, within the form of a real (and often very British) dealer keeps the game fresh for long periods of time and allows one to have many hours of entertainment! Some dealers are so spectacularly jolly that even merely observing them is fun!

3. A Gentleman Knows When To Stop

Unlike slots, online blackjack can be very addictive. ‘Tis quite easy for one to say “Oh, just one more hand is not going to hurt”, but one hand leads to ten, and ten lead to a hundred. If you find out that you can no longer stop, then that means you are very likely suffering from a case of gambling addiction. Luckily there are numerous British charity organizations (my favourite of which being GambleAware) which will happily help you go through this problem, if you are experiencing it. So don’t forget that there are other fine British gentlemen (and ladies!) who are always there for you should you need them.

Are Superhero Slots Good?

Ah, greetings, gentlemen and ladies! I am, as always, Sir Oscar Gough, her Majesty the Queen’s favourite tea guest and one and only royal slot hunter! Indeed, while I was absent recently and had my most inept underlings (who fail to even grasp the bare essentials of being a gentleman slot hunter), I have now returned from my most important mission in babysitting the youngest member of the royal family, the noble and pure princess Charlotte herself. This may not seem like much of a task for a slot hunter, but let us not forget the many dangers that the world poses to such a young and innocent princess! Why, I once had to fight seventeen kidnappers who had also brought dogs and a tiger with them in their futile effort to get their hands on the royal jewel that is Charlotte! Her grandmother called me a superhero, and I am inclined to agree! As a true gentleman slot hunter, though, that got me thinking – the only way the title of superhero could ever befit me would be if superhero slots were worthy of the value that we all give to superheroes themselves.

Screenshot from the Avengers slot

So I began my quest across lands that not even an experienced slot hunter like me has explored before! I went through the land of Playtech’s Marvel slots and also through the very colourful steppes of the DC slots. And I have to say that the verdict is positive! While there are numerous superhero slots, I am rather pleased to say that most were fairly decent. A gentleman rarely meddles in the world of superheroes, but even I have heard of “Avengers Assemble”, which, to my knowledge, is the most profitable superhero movie ever made. Luckily, the slot associated with it, “The Avengers”, is worthy of sharing its name, for it is truly one of the finest slots I have ever had the pleasure to play. Its graphics are beautiful, its bonus games and features are very intriguing and its payout is rather adequate. But that’s far from PlayTech’s only brilliant Marvel slot, oh, yes – “Spider-Man” has some of the greatest, most fun bonus games I have personally experienced, and “The Incredible Hulk” easily became one of my favourite slots. The Hulk himself is very much like a wild animal, after all!

That’s not to say that everything in the steppes of superhero slots is perfect. Unfortunately, many of the slots based on the main competitor of Marvel, DC Comics, aren’t particularly worthy of a true slot hunter’s attention. IGT has attempted to do a few, such as the one based on the rather brilliant movie “The Dark Knight”, but sadly, much like IGT’s many efforts, it has failed to pan out completely. There are multiple physical slots based on DC heroes such as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman, but while I couldn’t try those, their online brethren are nothing to gawk at. So be warned, fellow slot hunters – when attempting online slots, make sure to do your research before you stumble into something unpleasant! But with enough luck you may be able to find your next favourite slot!

Pictoplasma Conference – The Place to be for Animated Characters Freaks

Hello hello everyone, what have you been up to? Me? I am dead excited about this conference in May this year. Berlin is the place and the early bird tickets have sold out already, so hurry up!

Pictoplasma conference is one of the best events out there for anyone into animated characters, narration, music and visual experiments and pretty much anything animation related. If you’re lucky enough to get yourself there, you will likely be meeting the creators of your next favourite game character.

If you are a creator yourself you can submit your work until the 1st February – not time to waste! The conference will be covering the latest trends and developments in the industry. Renowned and new artists will be holding exhibitions and screening their works and giving a sneek peek on what’s coming later on this year. New and established talents will share their expertise, opening up about their creative process, motivation and personal choices of tools and software. If you can’t join the upcoming event – don’t despair, there is a section on the Pictoplasma site that features HD videos of the talks held. You can purchase those for a pretty fair price (come on, less than 2 eur, your coffee this morning cost more didn’t it?).

You can get access to all Pictoplasma Conference and Character Lab lectures, presentations, screenings and workshops (5 – 7 May 2016), all the Festival Exhibitions, Art Happenings and Performances (4– 8 May 2016), entry to the Post-Pictoplasma Party on Saturday (7 May 2016) and a Conference bag full of info materials, goodies and character surprises – all for EUR 290 (VAT included). If you grab some friends or are in school, email those guys, they will happily make some special arrangements and get you a good discount. They can also help with accommodation and the general organisation of your stay, so don’t be shy and give them a shout. I sure will.

So, hope that was fun, motivational and inspirational as always, it sure was for me! Have a great week, stay tuned and see you soon!

Macau Casino Profits Lower Than They’ve Ever Been

Card pairsThings most certainly don’t look very good for Macau’s nightlife, especially when it comes to casino gaming! Being one of the very few Asian regions to allow legal gambling, Macau has been a den for gamblers all over the region, with numerous casino resorts opening across the country (especially in more recent years) specifically meant to attract foreigners. However, after it was exposed that certain casinos in Macau had been involved in a myriad of illegal activities, such as money laundering, Chinese president Xi Jinping would not let that stand. A series of rather public crackdowns followed, which scared off a lot of casino regulars (especially the high rollers), leading to a significant drop in profits.

Analysts expect that the gross gaming revenue in Macau will drop by a full 24% to $33bn. This rather grim prognosis has raised a lot of concern about the future of Macau as an Asian gaming haven. After all, there’s currently planned construction of various resorts and casinos totalling more than $20bn, and considering the Chinese government’s rather aggressive approaches that are scaring both the guilty and the innocent, their future is certainly in question. And, worst of all, it’s also threatening prospectors that are looking to expand in other Asian territories.

“[It] doesn’t help anyone”, says Thomas Arasi, president of Bloombery Resorts (which operates several casinos in the Phillipines) at an industry conference in Macau which discussed the fallout from the Chinese anti-graft campaign, and how it’ll affect the future of gambling in the region as well as worldwide. The general consensus was, obviously, that it would have a rather negative effect. Several nations, such as Japan, South Korea and Vietnam, are currently considering legalizing casino gaming, but are feeling unease over the supposedly rampant corruption that Macau’s casinos have generated. And while Singapore has managed to legalize gambling with very little, if any, legal trouble, that has done little to convince governments that their countries won’t turn into the next Macau.

“A year ago people were jumping up and down about the possibility of Japan and South Korea legalizing casino gambling”, says analyst Praveen Choudhary, though he adds that the recent events in Macau have made investors much more cautious, to the point where legalization of gambling in the region, while an arm’s reach away a year ago, has almost gone right back to being a distant dream. Experts are unanimous that Macau might hit rock bottom very soon, and if that happens, the effects won’t just be limited to Asia – they could spread like waves as far out as the US, with the worst case scenario being a drop in Las Vegas profits by 2%.

It’s important to remember that Macau’s economy is largely dependant on casinos and casino resort, so the aforementioned “rock bottom” is really something of an apocalyptic scenario for its citizens. High rollers from both the US and China have poured literally billions of dollars into its economy, and with those same high-rollers now scared by the crackdowns, Macau is in for a really difficult period. Some of Macau’s casinos, which are owned by Chinese tycoons as well as American gambling moguls, have already started closing down, with others laying off dealers. Macau’s population is just above 600,000 and has an unemployment rate of just 1.8%, mainly thanks to the casino industry. If things really go from bad to worse, as they’re shaping up to, one of the most prosperous regions in the world might suffer horribly.

How To Deposit At An Online Casino With PayPal

Greetings, chaps! ‘Tis I, Sir Oscar Gough, loyal knight of the Queen, gentleman slot hunter and maker of the finest Yorkshire pudding in the entirety of the United Kingdom. If you’ve been following my recent escapades in the endless savannah that is the online cyberspace, you’d be quite knowledgeable about the ins and outs of the hunt for the rarest animal-themed slots! But what you may not know, for it is considered rude for a gentleman to discuss, is how, pray tell, am I able to finance my hunts? After all, while it holds true that an amateur hunter can hunt slots in demo mode without spending a penny, real hunters such as yours truly only hunts the real thing with real money! While usual adventures into the online savannahs typically only cost a small amount, safaris such as the ones depicted in the first volumes of my memoirs “The Jolly Side of Slot Hunting” (available now in John Smith’s near you) then you are going to need quite a lot of pounds sterling! Where exactly I have obtained my wealth is a secret that I shall only ever reveal to the Queen should she deem it necessary to ask me over tea sometime, but how I have used it for slot hunting, now THAT is certainly a question worth exploring!

I have to admit that I am not particularly fond of credit cards, mostly because my bank refused to stamp the UK flag on mine, making it rather worthless in my eyes. Instead, I tend to use PayPal in order to fund my adventures. Sadly, PayPal is not British (its founders are from the US, Poland, Germany and Ukraine), and as such I do feel a hint of disgust whenever I open the site, but the sheer fact that I – a British gentleman through and through – am willing to use it despite that should tell you just how reliable this site is. For those of you who have spent too much time on slot-hunting safaris, PayPal is an “e-wallet” service which holds your money and allows you to easily use them to pay on several websites, including, of course, online casinos. Now, there’s plenty of detailed guides out there which can tell you more about how to best utilize PayPal when playing online casino, but I shall do my duty and teach you just how you can craft your first deposit using this wonderful service. I shall also add pictures, because the British, much like the Germans, never do a job haphazardly! The pictures I shall use were taken from the site 888 Casino, but the steps should be identical or very similar for each one anyway.

1. Find the Cashier

Screenshot from the main casino page of 888Every casino site has a “Cashier” – a place where you can deposit money that you can use later in the online casino. On some websites it might not be called the Cashier – it could be a “Deposit” button, or something along those lines. But since all casinos want you to deposit more than I want a cup of black tea on a Sunday afternoon, the cashier should be quite obvious everywhere you go. It’s usually accessible through the main page, but sometimes you need to log in before you can view it. Overall, it shouldn’t take you more than 30 seconds to access it.

2. Select PayPal

Screenshot from the cashier page of 888Once you’re in the Cashier, you should be able to see the PayPal option quite clearly. Sometimes it’s listed as a separate button while other times it needs to be selected from a separate menu, but it’s always there. There are more casinos that support PayPal than there are Englishman supporting the English football team! So if you don’t see the option right away, try looking around for a bit – it’s bound to be there.

3. Select The Sum You Want To Deposit

Screenshot from the deposit page of 888Keep in mind that this step doesn’t necessarily come up right away – sometimes it happens right when you select PayPal, sometimes the choice of how much you want to deposit comes up alongside the one detailed in Step 2, and sometimes it shows up during step 4 (on the PayPal screen). It really depends on the caisno, but really, you’re going to get that choice sooner or later, otherwise how is the casino going to know how much money you want to deposit? Contrary to popular belief, British people can’t actually read minds, at least not over the Internet, so unless you specify it you’re not going to be able to complete the process! When you’re done simply click on Submit and move on!

4. Add your PayPal Information

Screenshot from the deposit page of  PayPalNow comes the interesting part! After you’ve clicked on Submit you should get a new window open, or maybe a tab depending on the settings of your browser. You should see something very, very similar to the screenshot above, with the casino’s logo and/or information on the left and a log-in box on the right. Just add your PayPal username and password (I assume that you already have an account made and funds added – if you don’t, what are you even doing here, anyway) and then click on Log In. On the next screen, you’ll be allowed to choose a payment method (if you’ve only got one listed, such as a credit card or a bank account, then don’t worry about it – you don’t have to click anything, it’ll automatically select itself) and then click on the Pay Now button.

5. All Done!

Once you click the Pay Now button your transaction has been completed. After processing everything (which might take a few minutes – just calm down and make yourself a cup of tea) PayPal should send you right back to your casino, where you will get a message confirming the deposit. You’re all done! Now go out there and enjoy some good old slot hunting, chap!

THE BEST ONLINE SLOTS WITH ANIMALS

Ah, welcome, old chum! I was just having my afternoon tea and crumpets! A good gentleman slot hunter such as myself, Sir Oscar Gough, must never pursue his prey without a fresh cup of tea in his tummy, even when in the comfort of his own home! After all, slot hunting is a dangerous hobby even without the risk of dehydration! Take, for example, this tale from my latest safari – while hunting for the rarest animal-themed slots, as I often do, I crossed ways with my dear mates from bestonlineslots.co.uk , who are usually absolutely brilliant slot hunters that I hold much respect for. But alas, they were in mortal peril! While they were distracted watching a football game, all of the animal slots they had captured had found a way to break out of their cages and were on the loose! “Blimey!”, I cursed under breath as I adjusted my monocle. What was there to be done? Only one thing, dear chap – I, sir Oscar, set out to capture each of the escaping slots, under the condition that I would be allowed to add them to my own prized collection. You doubt my tale, old chum? Well, why don’t you follow me into the trophy room and see for yourself?

WHITE KING

A screenshot from the game White King

Ah, the mythical white lion! Truly one of the rarest animals to have ever walked the online savannah, and a gem in every hunter’s collection! As you can see, this 5 reels slot has 40 paylines and looks absolutely gorgeous, with hand-painted pictures of an entire white lion serving as its symbols. It also moves very smoothly, with enough frames per second to make even physical slots rather jealous! I should know, as I quite often listen in on their conversations! The only negative thing I could say about this otherwise lovely slot is that the bonus game rolls around a little too rarely. I spent many nights crouched in the bushes waiting for it to show up, and when it did the experience was quite underwhelming, as there isn’t an actual “game” – you merely get five free spins, which in the grand scheme of things don’t exactly bring you too much earnings – I won two or three times as much on certain Wild combinations, and those happened a lot more frequently than the bonus game did. Still, that is one rather small negative point for what is otherwise a quite excellent slot!

GREAT BLUE

A screenshot from the game Great Blue

I believe each one of us, be it ladies, gentlemen or others, can agree that the ocean is a very beautiful thing, comparable only to a well-trimmed mustache or the 1966 FIFA World Cup. Sadly, the creators of “Great Blue” seem to have missed the memo, because this is one of the worse looking slots in my prized collection. Not the worst, mind you, as I have witnessed some very poor excuses for visuals, but the images appear to have been drawn by a moderately talented sixth grader. Poor graphics aside, though, “Great Blue” is a five reel slot with only 25 paylines. Not all is bad, though, as I find its bonus game to actually be rather intriguing. Once you activate it by having three scatter symbols on the screen, as usual, you will be presented with five closed clamps. Under some of them are multipliers, and under others – free spins, but you never know which is which and what the actual numbers are. You are given 8 free spins and a 2x multiplier for starters and need to increase those numbers by selecting two clamps and adding their spins or multipliers to the ones you already have. While in my experience the slot rewarded me with some rather long cold streaks, the bonus game happens relatively frequently, so it’s a tad of a mixed bag.

CASHAPILLAR

A screenshot from the game Cashapillar

If you were looking for a good slot to leave the little sprogs in front of as you go have a pint, you might consider “Cashapillar” to be a worthy choice. After all, it’s remarkably easy for one to consider the cute and adorable bugs adorning the symbol slots as an indication that the slot was intended for a younger audience. After all, we all know that the 18+ sign on every online casino is more of a suggestion than an actual rule, so why not let the little ones have their fun? Bad idea, my good sir, bad idea indeed! First of all, “Cashapillar” has not 25, not 40 but a grand total of 100 paylines available to you (with 5 rows and 5 columns), and just like other slots of its kind it can get quite overbearing. Naturally, the chance to win is greater with more paylines, but so is the cost of every spin, and if you intend to pull the lever hundreds of times before the end of your session those paylines may burn a hole in your pocket! To make up for it, “Cashapillar” offers a pretty large jackpot and a bonus that can award you with free spins, so ultimately it’s up to you, dear chap, to decide whether you want to take the higher risk for the higher reward. On a side note, my comment about the 18+ signs being optional was nothing more than dry British sarcasm. Don’t let your sprogs play casino games, ladies and gentlemen!

WELCOME, DEAR CHAP!

Ah, hello! Didn’t hear you come in! Greetings, and welcome to my blog! My name is Sir Oscar Gough, famed connoisseur of animal-themed slot games. Since I was a wee boy I’ve hunted for only the very best animal-themed slots, spending hours upon hours at my local casinos stalking my prey! My peers often mocked me for my obsession, preferring to hunt for bigger game, such as superhero slots and their elusive Marvel jackpot, but I persevered! I was not going to let some superhero cretins distract me from my true goal – to discover every single animal slot roaming the wilderness!

A screenshot from one of Sir Gough's famed animal-themed slotsIn the late 2000s, my hunting safaris took me to the dangerous savannas of the online casinos, where I found dozens of new species to catalogue for my Gentleman’s Animal Slots Almanac. The variety in the fauna there was astonishing, even more so than in the casino steppes where I had previously hunted! There were not only animals such as lions, foxes and caterpillars, but also mythical creatures such as dinosaurs and dragons, each with their own unique slot! When I first discovered this, I was in most utter disbelief, but after composing myself over a cup of tea I came to an important realization – the joy of hunting rare animal slots must not be for myself alone! As such, I have decided to make my Gentleman’s Animal Slots Almanac public record, to allow whoever wishes to experience the thrill of the hunt a chance to do just that! Now join me, old chum, and let’s see what brilliant animal-themed slots we shall uncover together!